Have you ever been taught a lesson by the Lord that it knocked your socks off?
Not a gentle little reminder.
Not something you could easily brush aside.
I mean a hard lesson. The kind that makes you sit quietly and think, Okay, Lord. I hear You.
That happened to me this week.
Someone said something to me that I didn’t particularly want to hear:
“You’re very prideful.”
My first instinct was to defend myself.
Prideful? Me?
But instead of immediately dismissing it, I went down a rabbit hole. I opened my scripture. I started reading about pride, humility, surrender, and what God says about a proud heart.
And somewhere in the middle of all that reading, I realized something I didn’t want to admit.
They were right.
For most of my life, I have been an incredibly independent woman. I know how to figure things out. I know how to get things done. I don’t like asking for help. I don’t like feeling dependent on anyone.
And then my body changed. I became handicap.
Suddenly, there are things I can’t do the way I used to. Getting around isn’t easy. Things that once required no thought now require planning, assistance, and sometimes surrender.
And if I’m being completely honest, I have fought that.
I’ve fought the loss of independence. I’ve fought needing help. I’ve fought having to slow down.
But maybe, just maybe, I’ve been fighting something deeper.
Maybe the Lord has been trying to teach me that strength and independence are not the same thing.
Maybe humility isn’t weakness.
Maybe receiving help isn’t failure.
Maybe surrender isn’t giving up.
Maybe there are things God can teach us when we finally stop insisting that we can do everything ourselves.
And perhaps that’s part of why I’ve felt so stuck lately.
Not because God has abandoned me.
Not because my life isn’t moving.
But because I’m being asked to release an identity I’ve carried for a very long time.
The woman who could do it all.
The woman who didn’t need anyone.
The woman who had to be strong every minute of every day.
And perhaps God is inviting me to become something different.
A woman who is still strong but knows when to receive.
A woman who still has dreams but doesn’t have to control every step.
A woman who still believes in herself but understands that she was never meant to do this life alone.
That’s a hard lesson.
But sometimes the hardest lessons are the ones that set us free.
So today, I’m not asking God to make me less strong.
I’m asking Him to teach me what true strength looks like.
And if that means humbling me, teaching me to receive, and showing me that I don’t have to carry everything by myself…
Then, Lord, I’m listening.
